Intentional Parents

I remember when I first faced this intimidating assignment with my oldest child: teach my child to read. All of the usual “what if” questions, with their corresponding imaginative answers, assailed my mind. “What if I tell her the wrong sound combination for a certain blend? She won’t know how to read those words for the rest of her life! What if I can’t explain it well enough? She’ll be illiterate when she’s 40!”

You may well chuckle now, but those were very real thoughts and fears back then. These days I don’t have those fears. My first three children are all reading well. My fourth has just achieved the triumphant milestone of moving from three-letter short-A words to three-letter short-I words. She is moving at a much slower pace than my first three did, but we are using the same methods and they are working.

For those of you who are in the season of life that offers you the privilege of teaching a child to read, I’m happy to share how we have approached the task. Here is the short version:
Step One: Learn the alphabet.
Step Two: Connect beginning sounds to alphabet letters.
Step Three: Connect ending sounds to alphabet letters.
Step Four: Put letter sounds together to make words.

I prefer to introduce just a few phonics rules to get the children started reading: mainly short vowel sounds, long vowel situations, and how “r” affects a vowel. Those are usually enough rules to get them started reading aloud. Then as we read aloud a little each day, we simply introduce other rules as they are needed.

If you would like details to go with the steps listed above, you can read a letter I wrote to a young mom many years ago.

Most of all, be encouraged! In most cases, if a child grows up in an environment where books and reading are loved, it will be very hard to stop him from learning to read.

On my bookshelf are some three-prong pocket folders that hold many memories. They are trip journals that my daughters created during a family vacation years ago. It took me about fifteen minutes to put them together and they cost about fifty cents each, but what they became is priceless.

Trip journals are a great way to incorporate “school work” into everyday life. The journals that we created combined geography, handwriting, composition, nature study, art, and math. Here’s how.

Grab a three-prong pocket folder for each child. Make some section title pages as outlined below and assemble the trip journals. Gather some colored pencils and you’re ready to go.

• The Route We Took

  In this section of the journal put a highway map of each state or province you will be traveling through. The kids can trace your route as you make your way down the roads.

• Neighbors We Saw

  Put a full country map in this section so the kids can locate and color in the states or provinces as they see those “neighbors’ ” license plates on the highways.

• My Trip Journal

  This section simply houses a lot of notebook paper and maybe some plain copy paper too. As you go through the day, encourage your child to write down what he observes and does along the trip. You may want to give him time to write as you make various stops along the way, or you might just want him to enter a day’s summary each evening. The plain paper can be used for sketching. Your child might sketch flowers or trees he discovers, or he might want to draw a landmark or building that interests him. Try to make sure he puts the date and location on each entry or sketch to help prompt his memory later. You can also use the pockets in the folders to hold ticket stubs, brochures, postcards, and other memorabilia.

• My Trip Budget

  Older children can have a section in their trip journals that helps them track their spending. Just insert a few simple ledger sheets on which your child can keep track of his starting balance, purchases along the way, and a running balance. If your child isn’t old enough to track his spending, just leave this section out.

• The Trip in Pictures

  Put plain copy paper in this section and be sure to take along a digital camera. Take a lot of photos on the trip, then when you get home, let the child select which ones he wants to include in his trip journal. He can add captions or short descriptions under the photos as he adds them to this section.

We gave each of the older children a trip journal and allowed them to create their own covers. If your child doesn’t put it on the cover, you might want to insert a title page at the front of the journal that tells who is going on the trip, the destination, and the dates.

Our youngest at the time was still in the scribble stage, so her trip journal was full of just plain copy paper. She could scribble all she wanted. We also gave her a package of those inexpensive star stickers (the kind that are shiny foil and come about 1,000 to a package). She could make designs with those stickers all over the pages of her journal during the trip, and we could still add photos in the back, just like all the other children, after we arrived home.

Trip journals can be as elaborate or as simple as you want them to be. You can use fancy paper and your computer printer to create the section title pages, or you can use copy paper and a felt-tip marker; it’s up to you. You can use the sections as outlined above or you can make up some of your own; it’s your call. However you make them, trip journals can be great fun and a great way to encourage practical “school” skills. Give them a try on your next trip.

If you would like to save a few minutes, you can download ready-made title and section pages for your trip journal on our sister site, Simply Charlotte Mason.

I buy three-ring binders in bulk at Sam’s Club. Now, if you’re like me, you grew up with three-ring binders full of hundreds of sheets of notebook paper and several dividers labeled with school subjects like Math, Science, and English. But that’s not what we use these binders for. These binders are for hobby notebooks. These binders are for fun!

When one of my daughters was about eight or ten, she began showing an interest in dogs. She would gravitate toward dog books at the library and check out books about various breeds. If we saw a dog at the park, we would ask her what breed it was, and nine times out of ten she would know. So I encouraged her to start a dog notebook. In it she put magazine pictures of various breeds of dogs, labeled; printed pages from Internet sites about dogs; poems about dogs that she copied in her best handwriting; her own sketches of dogs. Anything that had to do with dogs, she put in a sheet protector (also bought in bulk at Sam’s) and put into her notebook. Soon her dog notebook grew so large that we separated its information into two notebooks: dog breeds and dog training.

Another daughter created a notebook about cats. When her interests changed, she started a new notebook about gardening, flowers, and herbs.

The point is that hobby notebooks are something fun for the children to do in their free time and as their interests dictate. We simply make the notebook materials available and encourage the process.

Benefits of Hobby Notebooks

Just between us parents, hobby notebooks also reinforce these character traits and school skills (but don’t tell the children!):

• Love for Learning

  Learning when you don’t have to is a foreign concept to many children and adults today. So many people have had any love for learning “schooled” out of them. A hobby notebook can cultivate the sense of excitement when you discover something new about your topic, as well as the sense of accomplishment as you see your notebook expand. It can nurture that love for learning that God designed us to have all our lives.

• Personal Initiative

  Hobby notebooks are personal. The notebook’s owner decides what he want it to look like, what goes into it or doesn’t, when he wants to look for more discoveries to add to it. Hobby notebooks can cultivate the skill of self-education. The children (and adults) figure out that they don’t have to wait for or depend on a structured class in order to learn something. They can teach themselves a lot with the proper resources and enough time to soak it in.

• Order

  Notebooks and sheet protectors help the child organize his findings by keeping all that information gathered in one place. If he collects lots of information, he will soon see the benefit of arranging it by subject or forming two notebooks dedicated to related subjects. It can be a great lesson in orderliness.

• Creativity

  Because the notebooks are the children’s own projects, they are allowed complete creative license over those projects. Each child can decorate, embellish, doodle, sketch, paint, cut, shape, and otherwise customize his notebook as he pleases to reflect his own personality.

• Handwriting

  A fun part of notebooking is done by handwriting. Children can copy poems, captions, charts, slogans, or just add personal comments to their pages. And usually, since the notebooks are their personal projects, any information that they write is done in their best handwriting. Great penmanship practice!

• Research Skills

  When a child wants to find more information to add to his notebook, you have a prime opportunity to help him learn research skills: how to use the library, how to use the Internet, how to use a copy machine, how to use a dictionary or encyclopedia (whether in printed form or software). The children will be more eager to learn these skills if they are searching for information on topics that interest them.

• The Topic of the Notebook

  Whether birds, quilts, World War I, or cooking, hobby notebook topics are endless. As your child compiles and creates his own notebook, he will be learning about his topic of choice. Some topics he may only dabble in; others he may latch onto for life. Either way he is experiencing a broad and generous curriculum!

Parental Involvement in Hobby Notebooks

Hobby notebooks should be child initiated! Don’t assign them as a requirement. Once the child has expressed an interest in a hobby, you can casually suggest the idea of creating a notebook, but don’t push.

How much parental involvement you need to give depends on the age of your child. Children who can’t write well will require a lot more help than older children. But your main responsibility is to help and encourage without pushing or having expectations. This is their project, not yours.

From our experience, I’ve been involved in basically three ways. First, I’ve made casual suggestions as appropriate. For example, if I see a little article in a magazine that talks about one of the children’s topics, I’ll mention it to her and say something like, “That might go well in your notebook.” That’s it; end of comment. It’s strictly up to her whether she wants to add the article. Second, if they want to look for information on the Internet, I’ll help and supervise their surfing. Third, I try to keep the binder, sheet protector, and paper supplies well stocked. (Oh, yes, sometimes I’ll buy some stickers that go with the theme of a notebook if I see them on sale or something.)

So I guess we could sum up parental involvement in two words: equip and encourage.

Design-It-Yourself Hobby Notebooks

You can create a fancy notebook that’s more like a scrapbook if you really want to. We started doing hobby notebooks way back before the word “notebook” became a verb. Now there are all kinds of resources available! One of my favorite is Notebooking Pages.

But keep in mind that hobby notebooks don’t have to be expensive or elaborate. A generic white three-ring binder with sheet protectors to hold whatever you want to throw in it works just as well. If you get the kind of binder that has the clear plastic over the cover, the child can create a cover page and slip it into that plastic for a custom hobby notebook. And if your child continues in that same hobby for a long time, he can easily create a new, more sophisticated cover as he grows older.

However you decide to do them, hobby notebooks are not intended to stress out mom or child. They don’t have to be fancy, and they aren’t even mandatory. They’re just a fun idea that has worked well in our family (and has probably been a pretty good deal for Sam’s Club, as well).

A line from a video we recently watched grabbed my attention, and I had to think about it for a while. But the more I thought about it, the more it lined up with true learning and the importance of life experiences. The line went something like this: “So much of what I see in life reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn’t it be the other way around?”

Think about that. Too often we settle for second-hand information, passively soaking up what another person has learned through personal experience but never experiencing for ourselves. Books are wonderful resources and provide almost limitless streams of information, but nothing can replace real life experiences. The learning that we experience first-hand sticks with us and gives us a foundation on which book learning can build. Now, obviously, some things are better not experienced first-hand, but in realms of common sense and the laws of the world God has made, real life experience is invaluable. Let’s look at just two examples: nature study and living math.

Nature Study

It’s easy today to spend the majority of our lives inside man-made boxes called houses or buildings. And it’s easy to keep the children inside too. We all too infrequently get outside to observe and interact with God’s creation up close and personal. Spending large amounts of time outdoors, observing and interacting with nature, lays the foundation on which future science lessons can be constructed. A child who has carefully watched a colony of ants gathering and storing food is naturally curious to learn more about them and can readily relate to Proverbs 6:6-8, which exhorts lazy people to learn from the ants’ ways. A child who has spent hours playing with and experimenting with the water in a nearby creek has a definite advantage when studying the scientific laws that pertain to water. They just make sense, because he has experienced them first-hand.

A pleasant way to encourage nature study is to take at least one afternoon per week to go outside. You can vary the locations if you’d like, but get outside for a while. If desired, go on a nature walk. A nature walk isn’t a structured lesson time; rather, it is a pleasant stroll through God’s creation with an eye toward interesting natural “finds” along the way. As the child discovers something new or curious to him, have a little field guide handy so you can look up the name of his new “find” together.

As the child grows, give him a sketchbook in which he can draw illustrations of his “finds” and label them. Training a child to draw what he sees (not what he thinks something should look like) is a great way to develop the habits of careful observation and full attention. We keep our sketchbooks, colored pencils, regular pencils, and four small field guides in a zippered tote bag that we take on our outings. The four field guides help us identify trees, birds, flowers, and insects.

I love Charlotte Mason’s sentiment: “Never be within doors when you can rightly be without.” Let’s take our children outdoors and experience often how God’s creation displays His power and deity!

Living Math

“When am I ever going to use this?” Did you ever say that when you were studying fractions or algebra? It is a natural desire in all of us to experience learning in real life situations. Math is another subject that makes the transition easily from real life to books.

Encourage your child to use math in everyday situations like shopping, cooking, sewing, gardening, or carpentry and construction. You can start with something as simple as “You may have two cookies” and count them together, and gradually advance to something more complicated like doubling the measurements in a recipe, figuring sales tax or discounts, or calculating how much wood is necessary to build a shed in the backyard. We use math every day; make sure your children realize it and regard it as a natural part of adult life.

Remember the three-pronged approach to academics: real books, real people, and real life experiences. Keep your eyes open for all three kinds of opportunities and you will be giving your children a wonderful education!

Q & A

Q: How can I do nature study in inclement weather?

A: Good question! Inclement weather is a great way to experience the changes in the seasons first-hand. Obviously, you’ll want to make sensible adjustments to your clothing, but don’t let less-than-perfect weather keep you indoors.

That being said, I grew up with Midwest blizzards and I realize that in some regions it’s very difficult to spend time outside all year round. But you can still do some nature study if you have a filled bird feeder outside a main window and a pair of binoculars. Check with a local wildlife store or pet store to find out which kinds of seed attract which kinds of birds in your area, then provide the buffet and prepare to enjoy the feathered guests that appear. It’s such fun to hear your children progress from calling each guest a “bird” to recognizing a “tufted titmouse” or a “house finch” on sight!

Q: I’m not that great at math; how can I make it a natural part of everyday life?

A: I think two of the most frequently used math components in everyday life are counting and measuring. If you focus on those two relatively easy concepts, you’ll have a good start on living math. In many families, the dad is better at math. What a great opportunity for him to get involved in the children’s education and share one of his strengths with them! And don’t forget the value of learning together. If you’re not sure of the how-to’s of measuring, for example, find a book at the library or search the Internet for the basics and learn them right along with your children.

I hope you won’t mind if we pre-empt our originally-scheduled topic for this month in order to share a different one that has been on my heart lately.

Our oldest daughter is fifteen, soon to be sixteen, and we’re starting to field that typical question asked of a teen who is soon to graduate: “Where are you going to college?” Twenty years ago that question didn’t phase me; today I brace myself whenever I hear it coming. You see, over the past few years God has been inching us along this path of sincerely questioning many of society’s customs that we grew up taking for granted. This isn’t a flippant, rebellious sort of questioning; it’s a soul-searching, count-the-cost type of questioning.

So as the traditional college years appear on the horizon, these have been my concerns.

1. The Typical “College Experience”

   The question has been posed, “Don’t you want your daughter to have the college experience?” To be honest, I’m not really sure that I do! The experience I had in college (and I went to a very conservative Christian college) was that I was isolated from real life and surrounded by kids very close to my own age with minimal adult supervision. Hmm, that sounds very similar to the set-up of traditional school classrooms from Kindergarten on and eerily close to one of the reasons I chose to homeschool apart from that environment. Why would I embrace that methodology now?

   Think about it: We’ve spent all this time and effort bringing our children up in an inter-generational atmosphere. They’ve been surrounded with real life and encouraged to pursue personal interests and develop a love for learning. They’ve learned to value our parental advice and view us as best friends and godly counselors. So why would we pay multi-thousands of dollars for them to be isolated with people their own age away from us parent-friends in a not-at-all-real-life classroom environment that requires everyone to follow the same schedules and study the same things?

   I’m not sold on “the college experience.”

2. The Protection of My Daughters

   I’m also concerned about protecting our children’s minds, hearts, and bodies. In college courses, the content of a class all depends upon the professor; we have no control over what views and information are put into our children’s minds. It’s also difficult to guard our children’s hearts when they are surrounded day and night by the worldly values of their peers (yes, even in a conservative Christian college). And recent media articles and interviews confirm that college campuses are becoming increasingly dangerous places for our children physically.

   I cannot reconcile our God-given responsibility to protect our daughters and the culturally-driven expectation to place them in the middle of that kind of environment.

3. The Soaring Cost and Potential Debt

   Have you looked at the cost of college lately? It can cost anywhere from $6,000 to $30,000 per year for just tuition and fees; that figure doesn’t include books, transportation, room and board, or living expenses. It’s outrageous — and increasing faster than the cost of living!

   Sending your children to college requires hundreds of thousands of dollars that most parents don’t have. So it is expected that either the parents will assume a huge debt or the children will assume that debt and take it into their first years at a new job or first years of marriage. Those early years of career and marriage generate enough stress and adjustment without our children’s also being saddled with financial difficulties from the very beginning!

4. The Assumed Advantage of a Degree

   And what do our children get for this massive money outlay? A piece of paper that says they’ve read the books, taken the tests, and otherwise completed their assigned work over the years. Now, I admit that in our world today some benefits exist to those having this piece of paper called a degree; it may not be sensible, but it is a reality. However, decisions about what God wants our children to do with their lives should not depend on the world’s expectations and values. How much better to tell our children to seek the Lord regarding their future work for Him and to hold college as one option, if He calls them to it, rather than as an assumption by default. Many of our friends, as well as ourselves, are involved in work and ministry that doesn’t make use of our selected college majors or earned degrees. Are you using yours? Something to ponder.

   I guess the bottom line is this: I’m not saying that college degrees are worthless; I’m just not positive that they are as necessary as we’ve been led to believe. And if the Lord does direct a child toward getting a degree, I’m not convinced that the traditional route of paying multi-thousands of dollars to spend years in a “college experience” is the most prudent way to earn one.

Enter College Without Compromise, an exciting new book that spells out an alternate route! Yes, our children can earn college degrees (if God leads them to do that) for much fewer dollars and without compromising the goals we have worked toward for all these years as intentional parents.

I wholeheartedly agree with this statement from the final chapter of the book (which, by the way, emphasizes intergenerational living): “As we have stated many times, academics is only one piece of the child-rearing puzzle. The main goal is to send them out strong, prepared to love and serve their Lord.”

Please think through the whole “What about college?” question prayerfully and Biblically. Let’s encourage our children to seek God’s direction and wait on His timing without the typical pressure of those post-graduation years looming before them. Hey, maybe we could start a new trend in pre-graduation questions! Instead of asking teenagers, “Where are you going to college?” we could ask, “What has God been leading you to do next?”

Q & A

Q: Don’t teenagers have to learn to be independent sometime?

A: If by “independent” you mean being able to adequately run and provide for their own households in real life, then yes, they do need to learn that. That is the goal of teaching them home skills through the years. By their teenage years, they should be well prepared to run their own households. But if by “independent” you simply mean out from under their parents’ authority and protection, I would question whether a college campus is the wisest place to make that important step of transition. College life does not resemble real life. Also, Biblically, our daughters should remain under the authority and protection of their father until he transfers that authority and protection to their husbands. Such a principle is not restrictive, but loving and secure.

Q: If my son doesn’t go to college, where will he find his future wife?

A: Don’t worry. God is not limited by geography, and He did an adequate job of bringing marriage partners together before colleges were even “invented.” Pray and watch Him work it out for His glory.

Nancy introduced them to cake decorating; Sarah encouraged it along.

Meo taught them about humility and serving the Lord with your whole heart.

Debbie taught them to oil paint.

John taught them how a toilet works.

Heidi introduced them to rubber stamping; Karen encouraged it along.

Kevin taught them about orphans in South Africa.

Amy taught them about orphans in their own neighborhood.

Dewey taught them about Fort Frederica.

Karen taught them to swim.

. . . And the list could go on. These are just some of the people God has brought into our children’s lives. Each person has contributed positively to the children’s learning and growing.

We’ve already talked about the three R’s that are involved in giving your children the gift of academics: real books, real people, and real life experiences. As you’ll recall, real books are books that make the subject matter come alive; we also call them “living” books. This month we’re focusing on giving your children an education through real people. Interacting with real people makes the subject matter come alive too.

Consider this fact: when God wanted to reach the hearts of people He didn’t give just His written Word, He sent His Son as a person. Those who spent time with Jesus learned from His words, actions, and attitudes. God designed relationships to be that way. When your children spend time with people, they learn from those people’s words, actions, and attitudes. In fact, living books are simply one way of conveying a person’s thoughts. How much better to actually interact with the author!

All around us are people who have many wonderful ideas and skills; they just haven’t written any books about it. Your children can learn much from these “unpublished authors.”

For one thing, they can learn about a vast array of wholesome hobbies. It’s always fun to meet someone who has a hobby we’ve never heard of or even thought of before. Learning about that hobby gets the creative juices flowing and opens our eyes to the multitude of possibilities in this world.

Another area in which real people can teach your children is history. I remember my husband and I were talking with a church member many years ago, and she mentioned that she had almost been in one of the decisive historical events of the civil rights movement. Now that was an interesting conversation, and it made that time period come alive in our minds. History is the story of people and what happened to them under God’s sovereign control. Take advantage of learning history firsthand — from the people to whom it happened.

A third area of learning happens more subtly when children spend time with real people — they begin to identify and, possibly, mimic those people’s habits. Of course, this tendency is one reason we need to be careful who our children spend a lot of time around; but on the positive side, this tendency can be a benefit if we are careful who our children spend a lot of time around. Let them rub shoulders often with godly adults whose lives and habits are worth imitating.

Real people can come alongside and help you in your quest as an intentional parent. Look for them and thank God for them. Then sit back and enjoy what you will learn from them along with your children.

Q & A

Q: How do I find interesting people?

A: It would sure be easier if every person wore labels describing their hobbies or interesting knowledge, wouldn’t it? The fact is, many people you come in contact with every day have an interesting hobby or history; you just don’t know about it yet. Remember that game in which you have to think of three facts about yourself that no one else in the room knows? You quickly discover that you’re surrounded by interesting people.

Here is a short list of places to start watching and listening for interesting people:

• church family
• neighbors
• relatives
• friends of relatives
• store clerks with whom you have regular contact
• friends
• friends of friends
• doctors and other professionals with whom you have regular contact

Keep your eyes and ears open to those people whom the Lord will put in your path. Above all, keep in mind that the Lord knows what influences your children will benefit from; trust Him to provide the right people at the right times along the way.

Q: Should I allow non-Christians to teach my children?

A: Obviously, we must be discerning about which people we allow to influence our children, but realistically we must remember that not every person our children come in contact with will be a Christian.

When making that judgment call I usually consider three main factors: time, topic, and character. First, time: How much time will my children be exposed to this person? Usually, the longer the exposure, the higher the influence. Second, topic: What topic is this person teaching about? (And remember that teaching doesn’t necessarily mean a formal class; teaching can happen anytime, anywhere.) I do not allow non-Christians to teach my children about spiritual issues. Third, character: Does this person demonstrate ethical actions and wholesome words?

Seems to me that it would be the epitome of pride to assume that non-Christians have nothing worthwhile to teach me or my children. A humble heart is ever ready to be taught — and equally ready to filter that teaching through the Word of God.

Ashley went with her mother to see a Van Gogh exhibit at the local art museum. On the way out of the museum, they stopped at the gift shop, and Ashley found a display full of books about Van Gogh.

She opened the first one and read: “Vincent van Gogh was a Western painter who lived at the end of the 19th century. His work as an artist continues to inspire today because it is fresh and unique. The paintings van Gogh created are full of movement and life, although the subjects are often simple. This is because the artist tried to paint the energy behind what he was seeing.”

Unimpressed, Ashley’s eyes scanned the rest of the book covers as she set the first one back in its place. One book caught her attention; it was called “The Yellow House.” She opened it and read: “One day in the spring of 1888 Vincent van Gogh put on his straw hat, gathered his art supplies, and went out to paint. Peach trees, irises, and buttercups bloomed in the orchards and meadows. But Vincent’s favorite was the sunflowers.”

Intrigued, Ashley turned the page. “At the end of the day, when Vincent finished painting, he returned to his Yellow House. . .” On and on Ashley read. When her mother was ready to leave, she found Ashley completely absorbed.

Ashley had discovered a real book.

I’m sure you noticed a difference between the two books Ashley found. And you noticed that difference by reading just four sentences from each book. But sometimes it’s hard to describe that difference. Just what makes a real book a real book?

Real books (also called living books because they make the information come alive) are usually written by one author who has a passion for the subject, as opposed to a committee of scholars who are simply transmitting facts. Real books are usually written in narrative (story-line or conversational) style, as opposed to static factual sentences or lists like those you find in encyclopedia articles and most textbooks. Real books pull you into the story and involve your emotions and imagination, which makes a deeper impression on your mind and helps you remember the information better.

I find it interesting how much of the Bible is written in narrative style. God knows that our minds are drawn to stories and conversations. He created us that way. In fact, if you think back to a book or two that you remember most vividly from your childhood, chances are it was a real, or living, book, not a textbook.

It is the textbooks that make learning seem dull and uninteresting. Real books feed a child’s natural curiosity and thirst for learning.

So, in the words of Charlotte Mason, “Let their books be living books, the best that can be found in liberal supply and variety.”

(Note: For more on Charlotte Mason and her method of education, read Catherine Levison’s wonderful little book A Charlotte Mason Education.

Q & A

Q: Where can I find real books?

A: You can find real, or living, books just about anywhere once you know what to look for. Two distributors that I have come to trust are Lifetime Books and Gifts and Greenleaf Press. Also, our sister site, Simply Charlotte Mason has more than 1,500 living books in a searchable database called the CM Bookfinder. And don’t forget about your local library. You can probably find many real books there if you go armed with a good book list.

Q: Can I assume that all real books are good for my child?

A: Good question. No, don’t assume all real books are good books. If anything, you must be more alert because real books teach so well! Your child will learn a lot from real books, so watch what they are teaching. We have found some real books that present sibling rivalry as the norm instead of the Biblical principle of loving family members. Some real books are just too intense emotionally for some children. Some teach the child subtle disobedience, deception, or disrespect toward parents. For example, our family has chosen not to read the Frances books, Berenstain Bears, or Little Critter books. Yes, they are real books, but the actions and attitudes in those books are not what I want my children to emulate.

Those cautions include the books listed in the “good” book lists recommended below. The lists are a great starting point, but don’t follow them mindlessly.

You know your child best. When selecting real books, use discretion, preview vigilantly, err on the side of caution, and ask God to help you find the best ones for each season of your child’s life.

Mom’s Journal, Tuesday evening:

“Good day today. Josh’s interest in cars continues to grow. I think he has about fifteen models in his collection now. Today he copied a drawing of a hybrid engine from a library book. I think he’s going to label the parts before he puts it in his car notebook. This hobby may come in handy when we investigate a new family vehicle next year! Reminder: Invite the Wilsons over so Josh can talk cars with Harold.

“Ben spent the afternoon over at the Andersons’ farm. They had several cows calving this week. He’s really enjoying the James Herriot books we found at the library. Reminder: Check the library catalog to see if there are any more he hasn’t read yet.

“Sarah really seems to be enjoying the Burgess Bird Book we’re reading at bedtime. She identified a wren outside her window today. Idea: Maybe get her a birdfeeder for her birthday.”

Regardless of your schooling choice (public school, private school, home school), your goal, as an intentional parent, should be to cultivate within your child a love for learning that will last a lifetime. It is a tragedy to raise a child who considers graduation to be the end of his learning, who never reads a book after high school or college, or who views education as something to be temporarily endured.

Look at any toddler or preschooler and you will see that God created our children with a desire to learn. Too often that desire is “schooled” out of a child by manmade expectations and requirements. Give your child the gift of a lifetime love for learning. Three easy ways to cultivate that love for learning are (1) by example, (2) by creating a conducive atmosphere, and (3) by supplying the three R’s: real books, real people, and real life experiences.

First, model a love for learning. Does your child see you seeking to learn new skills or information? Does she see you reading for leisure as well as for learning? Modeling a love for learning does not mean that you constantly correct her grammar and turn every shopping trip into an arithmetic lesson. Modeling a love for learning means that you, yourself, are eager to learn new things and that you put forth the time and effort to continue educating yourself no matter what your age. With all of the resources available to us today – interlibrary loans, the Internet, bookstores, videos, computer programs – we have no excuse for clinging to ignorance. So pick a topic you’re interested in and start learning more about it.

Second, create an atmosphere conducive to learning twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Surround your child with excellent resources and plenty of time to explore them. Invest in a large map of the world or a globe; then every time a country is mentioned, look up its location. Don’t make it an elaborate or formal process. Simply express interest yourself and have the child help you learn more. In the process she will be learning too. Buy some inexpensive field guides to take along on trips to the park. When the children find a bug, figure out its name together; when they find a beautiful leaf in the autumn, identify the kind of tree it came from. Invite to dinner missionaries or other friends from around the world and ask key questions to learn about those cultures. Do everything you can to make learning a natural and enjoyable part of living.

Third, supply your children with the three R’s: real books, real people, and real life experiences. (I believe Clay and Sally Clarkson first used these key phrases in their excellent book Educating the Wholehearted Child.

Real books are books written by one author who has a passion for his subject and are usually written in narrative (story) form. Real books capture your interest and involve your emotions as you are learning about the topic. Real, or living, books are the antithesis of dry, encyclopedia-type articles like those found in most modern textbooks. Our family currently has collected over 900 real books for our home library. (We hope to someday make our book list available to you.) [Update: We have created a searchable database of our more than 1,000 books over on our sister site, Simply Charlotte Mason. The database is called the CM Bookfinder. We also have a list of our favorite books for the Early Years.]

Real people can be gold mines for learning. Introduce your children to people in your church, family, or neighborhood who have interesting hobbies and arrange for them to spend time together. Remember the mom’s notes in the journal entry at the beginning of this e-letter: “Invite the Wilsons over so Josh can talk cars with Harold” and “Ben spent the afternoon over at the Andersons’ farm”? Those events are examples of learning from real people.

Real life experiences provide excellent learning opportunities. Don’t just read about dolphins in a book, go look at some real ones. Don’t just teach your child how to budget money as a math assignment, depend on him to oversee your vacation expenses. Work together to build an addition onto the house. Participate as a family in a community theatre production. Go on a family mission trip. Take a CPR class together. Ride bikes. Fly kites. Live a life of learning, and love it!

Q & A

Q: Why Do You Homeschool?

A: The answer to that question could take up a whole e-letter by itself! The short answer is that we homeschool because it is the best way to give our children an excellent education, to disciple them in the ways of the Lord, and to keep their hearts turned toward us, their parents. If you want a longer answer, read the list below of additional advantages to homeschooling. It’s in no way an exhaustive list, but it should help you get started thinking.

Spiritual Advantages:

• We live, and thus teach, a Biblical worldview twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.
• We can guide the child to practice critical thinking skills consistently in actual life situations.
• We can demonstrate daily how the Bible is integrated with all of life.

Emotional Advantages:

• The child’s self-concept is reinforced by loved ones, not attacked by sometimes vicious peers.
• The child can develop independence from peer pressure and confidence in his abilities.
• We can develop strong family relationships.
• Homeschooling gives the opportunity to remain modest (for example, no group showers for PE).

Academic Advantages:

• One-on-one tutoring is the best way to teach and learn.
• I can tailor-make individual lessons designed with each child’s needs in mind. This advantage is especially important for children with special needs.
• The child is not limited by the progress of others (for example, having to wait for the rest of the class or study something she already knows).
• The child has increased computer access. He has to share the computer with only a few other children instead of twenty or more and has more time windows in which to use it.
• We have virtually no limit on the abundance of excellent resources to foster a love for learning.
• The child has freedom to pursue changing interests.
• Individually tailored lessons and fewer children in the “class” make more hands-on learning possible.
• We can set our own schedule. Our family schools year round in order to keep feeding the habit of learning and not waste a month every fall reviewing what the children forgot during the summer.

Physical Advantages:

• The children have less exposure to germs and are not forced outside during inclement weather.
• We can feed them a nutritious lunch every day.
• We have flexibility in our schedule to allow for late nights and illness. If the children stay up late one night because of an extenuating circumstance, we have the freedom to — at a moment’s notice — reschedule school work instead of “beating our heads against a brick wall” the next day when everyone is half asleep.
• The children have more free time to play, create, and pursue personal interests. It takes much less time for one student to complete a math worksheet than for a whole roomful of students to try to progress through the same worksheet all together.
• The children have protection from the dangers associated with school bus trips, strangers who might accost them en route, and violent peers.

Social Advantages:

• Homeschooling gives the child training and practice relating to all ages, instead of a preference for their own age group and a disdain for any others. They learn to respect the elder and help the younger.
• Learning at home helps children adjust to inevitable interruptions, just like real life.
• Keeping the children at home all day gives plenty of supervised practice in Biblical conflict resolution.
• The home environment is real life; the school classroom is a simulated environment. Homeschooling gives the child real-life learning in how to function in the real world.