Also, I would encourage you to state this trait in the positive; that tip saved me a lot of argument. For example, rather than saying, “Don’t use that tone of voice” or “Don’t hit your brother,” state what you expect, “Use a kind voice” and “Be kind.” I found that if I tried to explain what I didn’t want, I ended up dealing with all the possible exceptions the child could think of. For example, if she pushed a sibling and I corrected her for being unkind, she would argue “But I didn’t hit,” which is what I had said not to do last time.

I did use a “pop” on the bottom or hand to gain full attention quickly and reinforce rules, yes. Keep in mind that such correction should never be done in anger or frustration, but in a controlled manner with the child’s best interests in mind. You are not hitting them in unkindness, you are lovingly turning their attention away from the forbidden action quickly and back to the right path for their own good.