Intentional Parents

On this Mother’s Day, 2006, I wanted to take a look backward at how far we’ve come and a look forward at the road ahead, for it was Mother’s Day, 2002, when we started on this journey with Hannah.

May 2006: Playing with a prop for her sisters’ movie: iSundae.

First, how far we’ve come. Here is a description of Hannah’s behavior just after her fourth birthday when we started this journey, contrasted with her behavior now, four years later.

Then: Lack of eye contact; she wouldn’t look anyone in the eyes.

Now: Good eye contact when she wants to; still sometimes hesitant with those outside the family circle.

Then: Played in her own little world; not “connected” with what was going on around her.

Now: Comments on conversations and activities going on around her. For example, when driving in the van recently, I told the girls about a woman who had fallen off a ladder and broken her hip. Hannah immediately piped up and asked, “Is she all right?”

Then: Lay on her bed for hours looking at a toy; not playing with it in the usual sense, just turning it over and over and looking at it.

Now: Plays appropriately with a wide variety of toys.

Then: No pretend play; didn’t know how to pretend.

Now: Likes to pretend play with her sister. Likes to pretend that she is an animal of some kind (to the point that sometimes she gets upset if we call her Hannah instead of the animal’s name that she is pretending to be).

Then: Didn’t acknowledge people coming or going around her.

Now: Announces when Daddy’s or some friends’ vehicle pulls into the driveway, which she can see from the window in her room.

Then: Quit using and saying words that she had previously known and used.

Now: Vocabulary increasing again.

Then: Didn’t carry on a conversation or put together her own words to communicate. Instead she would recite lines from computer programs and music cassette tapes, sometimes at applicable moments, most often just “out of the blue” and not on topic. (The technical term is “delayed echolalia.”)

Now: Sometimes gets stuck asking questions to get answers that she already knows, but uses her own words to put together her own sentences that are usually on topic. Still struggles sometimes to get the word from her brain to her mouth, but will repeat the introductory phrase until she breaks through that wall and the word comes out, then she finishes her sentence.

Then: Lined up blocks, books, puzzles, and toys instead of playing with them.

Now: Builds elaborate houses with blocks; looks at books; puts together puzzles; acts out little people and stuffed animals.

Then: Would not look at a book being read to her; played with her own book or toy instead.

Now: Pays close attention to books being read to her and asks questions about what’s going on; follows the story line in chapter books read aloud to her. We’re reading through the Little House books and are currently on “The Long Winter.” Sometimes she’ll focus on one insignificant detail, but at least she is processing auditorially.

Then: Would not point to anything.

Now: Taps us on the shoulder and points to what she wants us to see; then looks back at our faces to make sure we’re looking at it.

Then: Would not look at something we pointed to; looked at our finger instead.

Now: Follows our finger to focus on the object in the distance that we’re pointing at.

Then: Would have sporadic outbursts of yelling “no, no, no” for unknown reasons, not just when challenged but in the middle of playing by herself.

Now: No outbursts. She is learning self-control. Sometimes we have tears when challenged, but she is becoming better at moving forward past the tears and on to the next thing.

Then: Would stand still for hugs, but not open her arms to return them.

Now: Still needs to be reminded to use her arms for hugs.

Then: Looked at her plate during meal times or sat with her arm over her face.

Now: Eats at her place. Passes objects within her reach when they are requested. Sometimes participates in the conversation.

Then: Would grab our hand and pull us to what she wanted, instead of verbally requesting it.

Now: Verbally requests what she wants throughout the day. However, sometimes at the table she will sit with the garlic salt beside her plate, waiting for someone to notice and help her sprinkle it.

Then: Would repeat a sequence continually in playing. For example, jump off the step, touch the table, put the stuffed animal under the chair, take the stuffed animal out from under the chair, return to the step; jump off the step, touch the table, etc.

Now: Routines are decreasing and we’ve had some interesting conversations about what constitutes a routine that needs to be changed versus a good routine.

Then: Was fascinated with lights and ceiling fans; she would stare at them for several minutes at a time.

Now: Hasn’t demonstrated this obsession in a long time. Does, however, laugh with joy over sudden loud noises. We’re curious . . .

Then: Entranced with fire. (She was singing for several days “Happy Birthday to you, now blow out the candles.” At her fourth birthday, she sat staring at the flames and wouldn’t respond to our encouragement to blow out the candles. After the flames were extinguished, she returned to singing and reciting the phrases.)

Now: Eagerly participates in birthdays and holidays. Hasn’t yet mastered the art of blowing but enjoys the whole tradition.

Then: Used a high-pitched voice to resist when challenged.

Now: Uses the high-pitched voice only when acting out little characters in play. Still needs to work on inflection and volume.

We are so thankful to God for every inch of progress He has graciously granted Hannah. Now, a look at the road ahead: the work still to be done prayerfully and persistently. Here are the goals we are currently working on.

• Aware of effect on communication when out of sight or too far away (She can squeal quite loudly when excited, but won’t raise her voice in a crowded room so we can hear what she’s saying.)
• Accurately expresses and shares expressions of happiness, anger, sadness, and fear (She can recognize all four in photos, but not in herself or other real people in real situations that prompt those feelings.)
• Recognizes and responds in a sensitive manner when social partners express feelings (Laughter still tends to be her first response when a person gets hurt.)
• Appreciates humor used in a non-scripted manner (Thanks to John, she is progressing in this goal!)
• Synchronizes with partner (She synchronizes to a degree when playing with Sarah, but we still need to work on this one.)

Please pray that we will not grow weary in well-doing and that we will have the wisdom to know when to push and when to back off.

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 14th, 2006 at 8:38 am and is filed under Hannah’s Progress. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.