Comments on: Teach and Train http://intentionalparents.com/2006/05/01/teach-and-train/ Average parents follow the crowd. Intentional parents pursue the goal. Wed, 07 Dec 2011 17:19:32 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Courtney http://intentionalparents.com/2006/05/01/teach-and-train/comment-page-1/#comment-418 Courtney Sun, 16 Aug 2009 00:27:23 +0000 http://intentionalparents.com/2006/05/01/teach-and-train/#comment-418 Pro 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. Pro 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Heb 12:7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? Heb 12:11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. A King James online dictionary defines "chasten" this way: 1. To correct by punishment; to punish; to inflict pain for the purpose of reclaiming an offender; as, to chasten a son with a rod. Don't let the enemy pervert what God has meant for good. There is a differnce in "hitting" a child and "chastening". When used properly and calmly, not in a rage, chastening can can yeild the peaceable fruit of righteousness. Pro 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Pro 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

Heb 12:7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?

Heb 12:11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

A King James online dictionary defines “chasten” this way: 1. To correct by punishment; to punish; to inflict pain for the purpose of reclaiming an offender; as, to chasten a son with a rod.

Don’t let the enemy pervert what God has meant for good. There is a differnce in “hitting” a child and “chastening”. When used properly and calmly, not in a rage, chastening can can yeild the peaceable fruit of righteousness.

]]> By: LISA http://intentionalparents.com/2006/05/01/teach-and-train/comment-page-1/#comment-125 LISA Fri, 21 Mar 2008 01:20:13 +0000 http://intentionalparents.com/2006/05/01/teach-and-train/#comment-125 Thank you for replying Sonya. I really just wish people would look behind the eyes of the child and to try to get to the root of the problem. Was the parent putting too much pressure on "training" the child? Did the child have a bad potty experience (pain, etc )? Was the child busy playing and just plain forgot? etc.... If the child was, like you said, being defiant, perhaps there was too much pressure in the past on the situation. Perhaps the parents could just ask the child why they don't want to use the potty. "I know it can be hard to remember", I understand that you get so busy", "Is there something mommy can do to help you remember ", etc....... Let the child know you are his/her advocate and that they can feel you trying to help and listen and hear them out. If you have the correct tools in your toolbox you would clearly see that spanking is never okay. It is impatient, lazy, an adult temper tantrum if you will. Is it okay to hit your spouse, friend, heck, even a stranger if they don't do as you like? Of course the answer is no. So why in the world would it be okay to hit your child. You obvioulsly have a lot of people who turn to you for advice. I beg of you to read more on this. Please look at the www.aolff.org , www.gentlechristianmothers.com. Here are some great sources as well www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=432440 I would love to see more gentle discipline advice columns. Especially among the Christian population. It truly is possible to have children that comply without punishments such as hitting, timeouts, removal of toys, or rewards. I have two of them. I'm also a Christian. Thank you Sonya, Lisa Thank you for replying Sonya. I really just wish people would look behind the eyes of the child and to try to get to the root of the problem. Was the parent putting too much pressure on “training” the child? Did the child have a bad potty experience (pain, etc )? Was the child busy playing and just plain forgot? etc…. If the child was, like you said, being defiant, perhaps there was too much pressure in the past on the situation. Perhaps the parents could just ask the child why they don’t want to use the potty. “I know it can be hard to remember”, I understand that you get so busy”, “Is there something mommy can do to help you remember “, etc……. Let the child know you are his/her advocate and that they can feel you trying to help and listen and hear them out.
If you have the correct tools in your toolbox you would clearly see that spanking is never okay. It is impatient, lazy, an adult temper tantrum if you will. Is it okay to hit your spouse, friend, heck, even a stranger if they don’t do as you like? Of course the answer is no. So why in the world would it be okay to hit your child.
You obvioulsly have a lot of people who turn to you for advice. I beg of you to read more on this. Please look at the http://www.aolff.org , http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com. Here are some great sources as well http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=432440

I would love to see more gentle discipline advice columns. Especially among the Christian population.

It truly is possible to have children that comply without punishments such as hitting, timeouts, removal of toys, or rewards. I have two of them. I’m also a Christian.
Thank you Sonya,

Lisa

]]> By: Sonya http://intentionalparents.com/2006/05/01/teach-and-train/comment-page-1/#comment-124 Sonya Thu, 20 Mar 2008 18:26:42 +0000 http://intentionalparents.com/2006/05/01/teach-and-train/#comment-124 Hi, Lisa - Thank you for your note. I would totally agree with you that a child should never be spanked for having an accident. I'm glad you mentioned that because the question above doesn't specify whether it was an act of defiance or an accident. When I talked with the mom originally, the situation was an act of defiance on the part of her son. Thanks for providing the opportunity to clarify. I guess we will have to disagree about spanking's being never an option. I believe that spanking -- correctly used and implemented -- is one tool in a parent's whole discipline toolbox. I don't think it is the only one, but I wouldn't say that it should never be used. Hi, Lisa -

Thank you for your note. I would totally agree with you that a child should never be spanked for having an accident. I’m glad you mentioned that because the question above doesn’t specify whether it was an act of defiance or an accident. When I talked with the mom originally, the situation was an act of defiance on the part of her son. Thanks for providing the opportunity to clarify.

I guess we will have to disagree about spanking’s being never an option. I believe that spanking — correctly used and implemented — is one tool in a parent’s whole discipline toolbox. I don’t think it is the only one, but I wouldn’t say that it should never be used.

]]> By: LISA http://intentionalparents.com/2006/05/01/teach-and-train/comment-page-1/#comment-123 LISA Thu, 20 Mar 2008 17:09:25 +0000 http://intentionalparents.com/2006/05/01/teach-and-train/#comment-123 Please think about what you're saying. Spanking a child is allwayswrong, especially wrong when trying to learn potty training. There is always another option other than using violence to help teach and guide your children. Ask yourself what is your fear? That they will be 30 and not use the potty........that just doesn't happen. Be there for them and let them make mistakes, they will decided on there own when it's time. I pray for these children who are spanked for having an accident....they are learning. Even if they have been using the potty, they are still learning. I pray that these parents will open there hearts and search for other options. In my opinion, you are teaching people to bribe there kids.......stickers?? Try a working with approach instead of a doing to approach......it's amazing what an open heart can do. Please read about gentle discipline. There is a gentle christian mothers website as well as www.aolff.org. Mothering.com is also a great source for learning new skills in teaching our children. Spanking should never be an option! Please think about what you’re saying. Spanking a child is allwayswrong, especially wrong when trying to learn potty training. There is always another option other than using violence to help teach and guide your children. Ask yourself what is your fear? That they will be 30 and not use the potty……..that just doesn’t happen. Be there for them and let them make mistakes, they will decided on there own when it’s time.
I pray for these children who are spanked for having an accident….they are learning. Even if they have been using the potty, they are still learning.
I pray that these parents will open there hearts and search for other options.
In my opinion, you are teaching people to bribe there kids…….stickers?? Try a working with approach instead of a doing to approach……it’s amazing what an open heart can do.
Please read about gentle discipline. There is a gentle christian mothers website as well as http://www.aolff.org. Mothering.com is also a great source for learning new skills in teaching our children. Spanking should never be an option!

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