Intentional Parents

Krista can quote about 500 verses. She knows the books of the Old and New Testament in order, both Biblically and chronologically. Name any Bible character and, chances are, she’ll be able to tell you who that character was and which Bible book records any accounts about him or her. However, Krista is often downright mean to her siblings. She criticizes her parents and talks back to them incessantly. Her best friend, Ann, is furious because she just found out that Krista has been lying to her.

Krista has Bible knowledge but has never been discipled to live what she knows.

Daylon is a great friend and son. His heart is tender toward the things of the Lord. He tries to help his younger brothers and sisters. His parents have taught him to always tell the truth, and his tennis coach is impressed with his diligence and sportsmanship. However, Daylon recently found himself in a discussion with a new neighborhood friend, James. James wanted to know what the difference is between his religion and Daylon’s beliefs. Most of Daylon’s answers were vague and peppered with “I think the Bible says somewhere . . .”

Daylon has been discipled to live in a Biblical way but doesn’t have Bible knowledge.

Bible knowledge and discipleship: the two keys of giving your children the Bible. We are doing our children a disservice to give only one or the other; we must give them both.

Both of these keys are outlined in Deuteronomy 6:5–7: “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”

First, you, the parent, must love God with all your being and embrace His Word in your heart. Let it permeate your mind and dictate your attitudes and actions. Then you must teach God’s Word diligently to your children (so they know what it says [Bible knowledge]), and you must talk about it all day in every situation you encounter (so they learn to live it [discipleship]).

Bible Knowledge

I like to approach Bible knowledge in three stages that cover toddlers through teens. The first stage is the Great Stories stage. Young children love to hear stories; God made them that way. And God also gave much of His Word in narrative (story) form. It makes sense, then, to read the great stories of the Bible to our young children. Read with enthusiasm and drama. If the child’s emotions are involved in the story, he will remember it. Our young children should know Bible characters as well as - or better than - they know the popular TV or action figure characters of the day.

The second stage is the Guided Studies stage. As your children become confident readers and increase in reading comprehension, use simple inductive Bible studies to begin teaching them how to study the Bible. Work through the studies with them; guide them. Learn together, and help the child discover that he can understand the Bible “on his own.”

Once the child is proficient in guided studies, she can graduate to the Independent Inductive Studies stage. At this level the child can independently complete an inductive Bible study geared toward young adults or older adults. Your role then becomes an encourager, an answer-er of questions, an accountability partner, and a supplier of doctrinally sound, interesting studies. And once your child reaches this stage, she will be equipped to continue studying the Bible for the rest of her life.

Discipleship

Discipleship is not as easy to categorize into nice, neat stages; it is a lifelong pursuit. Discipleship means seeing God’s hand in everything that happens to you during the day and responding in a way that pleases Him. Our children desperately need to learn discipleship. A disciple is a “learner” or a “follower.” Probably the best way to train your children in discipleship is simply to live your own life of discipleship before them; then talk about what you’re thinking while it happens.

For example, when you are driving to an unfamiliar location, simply pray aloud, “Lord, please help me to find this place.” Then when He guides you to it, thank Him aloud. Nothing elaborate or preachy. Make communication with God as natural as breathing.

When your family made plans that have to be altered at the last minute, acknowledge that the children may feel disappointed, but encourage them with the positive truth that God must have something better in mind. Again, a simple statement, not a doctrinal thesis.

If conflict arises between children, and they are using unkind words from unloving hearts, remind them lovingly and with a sad countenance that their actions and attitudes are grieving God’s heart. Pray with them, asking God to help them show sincere love to each other.

Please, please don’t use God’s Word as a club or cattle prod to beat your children when they fail. Rather, show them how precious and valuable God’s wisdom is; how applicable God’s Word is in today’s circumstances and society; how dependable and trustworthy God’s principles are.

The examples above may seem too simple or too short to make an impact on your children. But if you follow those examples and make brief Biblical comments the habit every day when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up, your children will experience hundreds of discipleship moments every week. You will be training your children to think and live Biblically.

Q & A

Q: I take my children to Sunday School and church; we even have family devotions. Isn’t that enough?

A: To put it bluntly, no. Sunday School, church, and family devotions might be times to impart Bible knowledge, but those times cannot take the place of parents’ applying Scripture to everyday situations as they happen. At best, a Sunday School lesson or sermon can only explain how to apply Scripture if/when the listener might ever happen to encounter the situation described. Parents who live life with their children are the key to “striking while the iron is hot” and presenting the Biblical truth when it can be applied immediately. There’s no substitute for God’s method of discipleship.

Q: What can I do with my 18-month-old in church? How can I teach her to be quiet and not cause a disturbance?

A: Train her to sit on your lap in short increments at home. (Practicing during family devotions is one good way to train this habit.) When you’re sitting in church, give her a boundary in the chair row or pew: mom’s knees to dad’s knees a few seats apart. Let her play with quiet toys within that boundary. Start with 15 minutes in that setting, then take her out and give her a short break to run. Come back in to the service for 15 minutes, then take her out for another short break. Increase the time she stays in the service by incremental steps; for instance, after a few weeks of 15 minutes, go to 17 minutes in the service before giving a break, then go to 20 minutes a couple of weeks later, and so on.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 1st, 2004 at 4:36 pm and is filed under The Bible, The Five Gifts of Intentional Parents, Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.